My grandparents are coming over today. They’re staying in a hotel, which is best for all of us considering we don’t have beds for them or even that many chairs to sit in, but they’ll be here for a week or so.
I haven’t seen them in a long time, so I miss them. But I also feel kind of awkward about it, because… well, it’s awkward.
My grandfather is quiet. He’s very intelligent, too, but he doesn’t love children as much as my grandmother, so I didn’t get to know him as well when I was younger. I want to know him better now, but I don’t know how, so I’m shy around him.
My grandmother is – eh – a very forceful woman. She’s very intelligent, but she also always wants to be the center of attention. If you say something she doesn’t like and doesn’t want to respond to, she will go temporarily deaf. If things are not done the way she likes, she will either complain or get a terse expression on her face – one of long-suffering disapproval. I don’t actually have to deal with her much – I don’t have to deal with her unpleasant side, that is – because my mom has always shielded us from her. But lately I’ve tried to shield her a little in return, give her a little relief. Pay her back, as it were.
Then a few years ago I lost all respect for my grandmother in one night, and I haven’t quite been able to get it back. This means I have to watch myself around her, because I might easily lose my temper and snap at her. I feel bad for being useless to my mother, though; if I’m like this around my grandmother, I can’t promise my mother some time off while I talk to her, not for long. And I really, really don’t want to get into a fight with her. It would end up being bad for my mom more than for me, which isn’t fair.
And the two of them bicker constantly – my grandparents, that is. Actually, it’s just my grandmother constantly nagging my grandfather about something, and he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t appear to mind, and sometimes you can see that they still love each other. It’s odd, but it’s their way.
I should be happy to see them again. I should be feeling bubbly with anticipation. Instead I don’t feel much of anything.