One of my first posts on this blog was about how scared I am that I’m going to lose my friends. Thing is, though, I’m not afraid anymore.
It took less time than I expected. I keep surprising myself. It’s just – I feel so safe with them. They wouldn’t let me down, I know it. They won’t.
I’m not sure what’s brought on my newfound security. Maybe it’s how much fun I have with them when I see them. Perhaps it’s the way they smile when they see me. It could be how even though I can’t have a real conversation with all of them with equal ease, when we’re all together, there’s no awkwardness. It might be the way everyone is always included. No one is more important to anyone than anyone else – there are no pairs of ‘best friends’ who share knowing looks and inside jokes. We’re all in on the inside jokes. I’m not used to being in on everything, I suppose.
In the aforementioned previous post I wrote of a Harry Potter marathon. I thought that perhaps if I went to this and felt included, I would stop being so scared. Well, the Harry Potter marathon is in two days, but for weeks now I haven’t been worried at all. I trust my friends now, and I truly believe that they won’t disappoint me. And I’m ecstatic that I don’t need any specific confirmation of their friendship – that daily encounters and conversations are enough. That everyday life, ordinary as it is, is enough to convince me.